5 Steps to Stop Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts when you're Struggling
The postpartum period can feel like an emotional roller coaster, marked by exhaustion, intrusive thoughts, physical changes, and a deep sense of identity shift. Louise Hay, in her book Heal Your Body, said:
“Anxiety is not trusting the flow and process of life. Depression is anger you feel you do not have a right to have.”
Those words ring especially true in the early weeks and months after having a baby. As a postpartum herbalist, I’ve learnt that healing doesn’t come from one single solution but from changing how we think, perceive, and support ourselves. In this post, I’m sharing five powerful mindset shifts that can help you feel more grounded, supported, and whole again.
Watch this video to learn how to change these intrusive thoughts:
How to stop postpartum intrusive thoughts
1. “I Need Medication to Heal.”
Medication has its place, and for some women, it’s life-changing. But it’s not the only answer. Over the years, I’ve worked with moms who struggle deeply, yet never find relief through medication. I’ve also worked with adoptive moms and new fathers who experience anxiety and depression, and their experiences challenge the idea that it’s purely a “chemical imbalance.”
Instead, what if we viewed our symptoms as responses to sleeplessness, intrusive thoughts, and the emotional “death” of our former selves? Becoming a mother (or parent) is a profound transformation. Each birth brings a new identity and with it, mental and emotional rewiring. Healing requires more than prescriptions. It requires awareness, support, and self-compassion.
Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts
2. “No One Can Help Me”
This belief is common, especially when we're in survival mode. I’ve been there, eating while washing dishes with twins at home and two businesses to run. I just wanted someone to clean the house, but my late husband’s anxiety around having others in our home prevented that from happening.
Even moms with extensive support, such as night nurses, doulas, and therapists, can still struggle. Why? Because trauma and intrusive thoughts don’t vanish with more helping hands. True healing begins when we acknowledge and process the pain we’ve tucked away. Trauma, big or small, tends to resurface in motherhood. This is why releasing trauma, learning how to feel safe again, and regulating the nervous system are so essential in the postpartum journey.
3. “I Just Want to Feel Like Myself Again”
This is one of the most common things I hear, and it used to resonate with me as well. But the truth is, you’ll never be exactly who you were before becoming a mom. And that’s a good thing. You’ve grown. You’ve endured. You’ve transformed.
After multiple losses, births, business shifts, and life changes, I am not the woman I once was, and I don’t want to be. Instead of mourning your “old self,” I invite you to reconnect with pieces of who you were. Make a list of what brought you joy before. Did you ride your bike? Paint? Hike? Revisit those things. Then begin layering in new joys that align with the person and mother you’re becoming. You’re not losing yourself; you’re evolving.
4. “Therapy Isn’t Working”
Maybe you’ve tried therapy and feel like it didn’t help. I want to normalise this: sometimes one form of therapy isn’t enough. After my husband died, I tried multiple types: EMDR, art therapy, dance therapy, and EFT tapping, and each one helped in different ways.
What’s often missing in traditional therapy is self-regulation. Techniques like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) help you soothe yourself in real time. I encourage you to write out your intrusive thoughts, then tap through them and reframe them into more supportive beliefs. It’s one of the fastest ways to interrupt a panic spiral and return to a sense of safety.
5. “I Hate My Postpartum Body”
Let’s be honest, many of us struggle with body image after birth. Whether it’s clothes that don’t fit or circles under our eyes, the way we talk to ourselves matters more than we realise. Every time you look in the mirror or pull on your jeans, ask yourself, “What am I saying about my body right now?” ”
Healing your body postpartum isn’t just about diet or exercise; it starts with your thoughts. Try shifting the narrative for just one week. Say something kind. Move your body, even if it’s just a 10-minute walk or a few minutes in a sauna. Choose nourishing foods or herbal tea instead of that third cup of coffee. These small shifts add up.
Rebuilding Yourself, One Thought at a Time
How to stop postpartum intrusive thoughts
To recap, here are the five mindset shifts that can support your postpartum healing:
Medication is not the only path.
Support is available and necessary.
You are not who you were, and that’s okay.
Therapy may need to be diversified.
Your body is worthy of love, just as it is.
Which one resonated with you most? Or did I miss one? Share in the comments; I’d love to hear your thoughts.
And here’s a gentle challenge: tomorrow morning, instead of reaching for your phone, write down 5 things you’re grateful for. Start your day in appreciation. And throughout the day, choose nourishment for body, mind, and soul. One small shift at a time.
xo
